Me

I don't want to watch tv nor DVDs.
I don't want to play videogames.
I don't want to draw or go out or listen to music.
I'm lonely. I can't cry anymore. There are no tears left.
I'm sitting in my bed all day, staring at my iPad hoping for anybody to talk to me.
But nobody does.
I write people on facebook but they don't answer.
Sometimes I feel like I am the loneliest person in the world.
I have no friends at all...

Lies

Remember me.

Today, 12 years ago, my uncle Dieter died.

I'm forever missing him.

...

And I swear would there be any chance for me to get away here -  I'd take it!
But there's nowhere to go. You don't get far with 500€ and I don't know what I should do when I am wherever I want to be.
I really have to call my lawyer. Have to talk to him about family, money and an own apartment and shit like this. It's not that easy...

What's fucking wrong with me?

I must go to school I must go to school I must go to school I must go to school

When did this happen that my sadness prevent me from going to school again? i WILL go but I just got that feeling i CAN'T. I feel weak. And I don't feel like talking to people. And I could start crying all the time... what's fucking wrong with me?

"Schrei nur weiter, nur weck mich nicht, wenn ich endlich schlaf..."

This is the only photo I've got. It's my grandpa. One year without him. I miss him so much.

Right now it's one year. 6:38am.

I love you. I will ever do.

This is all a dream & none of you are real!

The title is a part of the lyrics from "Head down" by Nine Inch Nails. My favorite song at the moment!

Here we go again, my dearest blog.
Oh well I know, writing isn't my favorite thing to do instantaneous... but I'm really trying to keep this thing going. Not because I want people to read my shit, more for me. To know I've got such a thing as a hobby... haha...

I didn't go to school yesterday and today, too. Yesterday was because I was sick and today because I wasn't able to go there... there was so much snow on my car and on the streets, too, that I just wasn't able to drive. The bus and trains didn't came punctual, too... so this was shitty.

A bit later then I went to my granny who bought me new pants for training and chocolate! Hahaha.

When I was home then a friend picked me up and we went shopping!
It was so much fun & I really like going shopping with him. We haven't had much contact during the last time... :/

I bought some CD's (Nine Inch Nails, hehehe). We ate Sushi and then drove home again.

All in all it was a great day. :D
Hopefully all the snow will be gone tomorrow....